Article on Enneagram and Relationships Series-

by Shantal Alonso

Walk a Mile in my Shoes- Relationships and the Enneagram at Work and at Home

Imagine a rich, practical tool that could help you understand how you and everyone around you is wired – one that helps you transform the messages you say and hear so that you may build stronger relationships based on respect, empathy, and accountability, as well as a mutual desire to connect authentically.  Using the Enneagram – an ancient model of nine personality styles and their inter-relationships, you can discover the depth of your own compassion, and learn to identify and clearly articulate what is “alive in you.”  This powerful system creates a paradigm shift by changing the distorted lens through which we see ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us.  By enhancing our self-awareness and understanding of others, the Enneagram is an invaluable guide for effective communication, successful leadership, conflict resolution, and personal growth. 

In her four week workshop series, “The Enneagram: A Fundamental Resource for Work and Relationship,” Ruth Landis will present experiential activities that weave the support of nature, creativity, and the body, along with the profound wisdom of the Enneagram, to help you grow in self-mastery at work and at home.  Some of the key benefits include learning how to:

• Embrace change with ease

• Lead with vision and receptivity

• Access your authentic self

• Be fully in the moment

• Move through your resistance toward infinite possibilities and truth; and

• Sense greater intimacy and trust between yourself and others

The topics for this series include:

• Your Style at Work – Gifts and Blind-Spots

• Communication/Feedback

• Inner Conflict and Conflict with Co-Workers

• Inner Leadership and Decision-Making

According to Ruthie, work is the point of departure for all of our relationships.  Our communication patterns (i.e., how we like to be talked to; how we affect others by what we say; what different individuals need in order to feel genuine support and appreciation; and how to build rapport and achieve positive results) apply to everything intimate.  Moreover, our decision-making processes are integral to learning how to read our selves (i.e., to understand how both our personality’s point of view and our emotional habits impact our relationships as they are filtered through our individual Enneagram type)

In this workshop, you will explore how your own style informs your way of thinking, feeling and behaving, and learn how to cultivate your unique gifts.  Moreover, you will learn how to relate to the other Enneagram types and address the challenges inherent in each one. 

Per Ruthie, every Enneagram type communicates in a different way – each one bearing its distinctive strengths and blind-spots that affect behavior in every relationship. While effective communication skills are at the heart of any successful endeavor, blocks often occur because we fail to take each personality type into account, and each one is a necessary component of the whole. The Enneagram provides a common frame of reference that emphasizes unity over separation: it brings awareness regarding everyone’s potential to contribute, and teaches us to speak one another’s language.  Learning to discern one another’s needs, motivations, and individual approaches to working and relating, enables us to genuinely connect with others and our authentic beings to truly shine – allowing harmonious and productive solutions to spring forth.  Working within a context of self-awareness and self-acceptance, this model empowers us to make more successful and life-affirming choices, manage our personal reactivity, develop our emotional intelligence, and foster greater cooperation and support within our lives. 

Finally, because the Enneagram is a dynamic system that encourages us to ultimately embrace the good in each of the nine points of view, Ruthie will show you how to develop all nine parts within yourself in their highest form.  According to her, that is where our wholeness lives.

As Ruthie explains, the premise is that we’re already whole, and we have all the answers we need inside of us.  The goal is to create a safe, supportive, non-judgmental space where we’re able to hear the programming from our past and become aware of what’s arising in the present moment.

Oftentimes, we accept old behaviors as a means of survival.  However, we should aim to notice when certain physical and emotional reactions no longer serve us, and invite our inner critics and our perfectionist warriors to find new resources by revising our distorted beliefs and exploring more joyful and supportive, physical and emotional patterns. 

The Enneagram offer us possibilities and ways of seeing things that may never have occurred to us, and helps us identify our distortions as they arise.  Our limited point of view may repeatedly cause unnecessary conflicts and limitations in our choice-making.  Accordingly, by identifying our personal and professional challenges, and learning to receive them as growth opportunities, we can expand beyond our limitations and free ourselves to create and express a clear, authentic vision that is aligned with our core values, thus, allowing us to live and work with intention, presence, and purpose.

As a personal anecdote, Ruthie shared how the Enneagram impacted her in relation to the book she’s currently writing.  As a “2” on the Enneagram, Ruthie is a very relationship-oriented person – always wanting to connect with, help, and do for others – oftentimes at the expense of one’s “self.”  She always knew it was her calling to write this book, but she had to make the decision to write the book for herself.  As she explains, “2’s” have the tendency to deflect from the self as they are generally too outward focused.  At home, Ruthie encounters too many distractions between family and clients, so she came to the pivotal realization that, in order to actually move forward with her dream, she needed to make a commitment to herself:  for the past two years, Ruthie has been driving out to New Buffalo one weekend a month, secluding herself in a beautiful, lakefront home, where she writes for those 48 hours.  Her hope is that this book will be a gift for others as well – a part collaborative memoir and do-it-yourself workshop where she shares her life-long experiments and experiences.

Much like the theme of her workshop, Ruthie’s intention is to know herself as a “2.” According to her, the biggest gift she can give herself is to NOT do what’s habitual – a huge leap for her.  Thus, Ruthie uses intentionality and the language of the Enneagram to gain knowledge of self and follow her Spirit’s passion (i.e., to creatively disseminate wisdom via her creative life-force in order to help others get to know themselves better, and rekindle their own passions and full engagement in life). 

So, how does Ruthie fulfill her calling as a teacher?  Ruthie believes that “spirituality is the breath of every language,” and she explains that, when it comes to teaching others, her job is to always “meet them where Spirit finds them.” 

Like Ruthie, we can all apply this insightful framework to discover our true Spirits and bring about beneficial changes into our lives.   

Shantal  Alonso is a creativity and transformational life consultant, Reiki Master practitioner, Raindrop Technique facilitator, holistic marketing consultant, and event producer for individuals and organizations.  Her passion is to empower individuals to transform their lives and nourish their creative dream-making process by providing creative and holistic “soul-lutions” for personal and professional growth and healing.  To learn more about Shantal, please visit her website: www.evoyoution.com

Walk a Mile in my Shoes; Relationships and the Enneagram at Work and at Home

(This is a four week series)

This 4 week series uses the Enneagram (an ancient model of points of view) to develop emotional intelligence while growing in self mastery at work and at home. Topics for the series...

Week 1: Your style at work and at home - Gifts & Blindspots
 

We will look at your personality type via the Enneagram, evaluating your strength and identifying your challenges
 

  Week 2: Communication/Feedback                                     

We will use the Enneagram to teach us better ways to give feedback to others and communicate with more clarity

Week 3: Inner Conflict and Conflict in Relationship

We will explore parts of ourselves that create inner conflict and learn how to create harmony within, as well as learning tools based on the Enneagram to get along better with others.                    

Week 4: Inner Leadership and Decision-making

We will visualize a leader of our own inner community that guides and directs our personal choices and reactions. We will explore decision making using our three centers of intelligence- head, heart, and gut.
 

The workshops will include experiential activities that weave the support of nature, creativity, and the body with the profound wisdom of the Enneagram.